I thought we could spend some time looking at one of “The Five love languages” by Gary Chapman.
I will be explaining the love language,” Quality Time” because it is the one that I feel fits in best with me personally.
Quality time is about spending time with your spouse and giving them your undivided attention.
For me, quality time is being with my wife and her being with me and us spending special time together.
To explain it better when you go to a restaurant you can always spot the couple that are dating. They look into each other’s eyes and don’t miss a word each other says.
Most times it is the things that we did for our wife or husband when we were courting that can best be seen as their love language.
In exercising quality time, the short 20 minutes in the day that my wife spends with me is very important for our marriage. For both of us it is the time that we know we will never get back, but it is a time where we can show our love for each other.
Quality time is not where we sit gazing into each other’s eyes all of the time, but it is a time when we do something together and give the other person all our attention. It is not sitting in the same room, holding hands, and watching T.V.
What is important is that we are spending time with our spouse without any other hindrances or disturbances.
Part of quality time with someone whom we love also involves quality activities. For me personally, it is important to do things together with my wife.
In describing where he felt most loved, one of the respondents at Gary Chapman’s marriage seminar said: “I feel most loved by my wife when we do things together, things I like to do and things she likes to do. We talk more”. Chapman 2015:69.
This sentence sums up how I feel with my wife. For me it is love really being shown by my wife for me.
These activities that are done together can be anything. Going for a walk together, having friends over for a meal, going to the coffee roastery together.
What is important is (1) at least one of you wants to do it, (2) the other spouse is willing to do it, (3) both of you do it to express love by being together. Chapman: 2015:69.
Quality time is how I experience my wife’s love for me.
If Quality Time is your love language, then whatever your schedule you must find time for it.